We Interrupt This Blog for a Legal Moment
Okay. This is about an article I ran across in the American Bar Association Journal. At least, it started there.
And, apparently, it’s an update of a previous report.
Here’s how it starts:
Updated: Fired in-house lawyer Paul MacNeal Davis has retreated from his request for a Lord of the Rings remedy in his lawsuit that contends that voting changes resulted in an illegal election.
Yes, really!
But, wait … it gets better.
Davis proposes an alternative in a Jan. 25 legal filing that blasts the media for ridiculing his proposal. But the pundits haven’t eased up. Nor have his troubles, including overwork, threats and vandalism, he says in the filing.
And before I get to the filing, let’s take a look at these allegations:
Davis wrote that the judiciary is the only branch of government that has legitimacy following the election.
“Gondor has no king,” he said citing Lord of the Rings. He explained in a footnote.
“During the course of the epic trilogy, the rightful king of Gondor had abandoned the throne,” he said. “Since only the rightful king could sit on the throne of Gondor, a steward was appointed to manage Gondor until the return of the king, known as ‘Aragorn,’ occurred at the end of the story. This analogy is applicable since there is now in Washington, D.C., a group of individuals calling themselves the president, vice president and Congress who have no rightful claim to govern the American people.”
People, I couldn’t make that up if I tried. Or, possibly I could, but no one would believe it.
Furthermore, I’m not the only lawyer mocking this thing!
Above the Law (hereafter ATL) is what used to be referred to as a “blawg”. As in, “blog plus law equals blawg”. I have no idea if this idiom is still in use. That’s how detached from the legal profession I’ve become.
But not so detached that I can’t get a kick out of this article! Quoting from same:
This may fly in the Shire, but not in Waco, sir.
Frodo: What news of the outside world? Tell me everything.
Gandalf: Everything? Far too eager and curious for a hobbit, most unnatural. Well what can I tell you? Life in the wide world goes on much as it has this past age, full of its own armed insurrections and deranged election challenges. Scarcely aware of the existence of law… for which I am very thankful.
How has the age of 2021 gone for Paul Davis? Let’s recap:
Jan. 1, 2021: Beginning a new year as Assistant General Counsel at Goosehead Insurance.
Jan. 6, 2021: Participates in storming of United States Capitol.
Jan. 7, 2021: Former Assistant General Counsel at Goosehead Insurance.
Jan. 18, 2021: Files insane election challenge, Latinos for Trump et al. v. Pete Sessions et al. claiming that every member of the 117th Congress and Joe Biden barred from public office based on dubious election fraud claims (even the roughly 2/3rds of the Senate not elected this cycle? I guess?). And Mark Zuckerberg… something something.
ATL than goes on to state as follows:
You know who else doesn’t have a king? The United States. In fact, he addresses that later on citing the Declaration of Independence and noting, “Rather ironically, one could now easily insert ‘United States federal government’ in place of ‘King of Great Britain,’ which has ceased being accountable to its voting citizens.” No, you can’t. Maybe in D.C. where they are subject to taxation without representation.
So … you see what happens? One thing leads to another and before you know it–voila!–I’m reading this! That filing provides some weird form of clarification.
To wit:
A. This Lawsuit Does NOT Seek to “Install Donald Trump as President.”
B. The Illegal Congress Moves to Eliminate Election Integrity Forever.
It then goes on to say:
3. While the relief proposed in the previous form of order may admittedly have been too heavy handed (what is an appropriate temporary remedy for an entirely illegal election?), the need for this Court to take some form of action to keep the Disputed Congress and Disputed President in check has never been more urgent. Congress has now proposed eliminating HAVA [the Help America Vote Act] and replacing it with the ironically-named misnomer, the “For the People Act of 2021,”which would forever extinguish Plaintiffs’ right to a new election, free from illegal failures to ensure integrity in the election process. This bill provides for, inter alia, (1) NATIONWIDE VOTING BY MAIL, (2) abolishing the requirement to provide notarization or witness signature as a condition of obtaining or casting a ballot, (3) nationwide ballot harvesting by permitting voters to designate any other person to return their ballot, (4) federal takeover of congressional redistricting from state legislatures, (5) allowing convicted felons to vote, (6) mandatory allowance for early voting, (7) internet-only registration with electronic signature submission, (8) banning requirement for submission of Social Security Numbers for voter registration, (9) lowering the voting age to 16, and (10) nationwide same-day voter registration.
Uh, yeah, well. Points off for yelling in capital letters.
After many more words, here’s the relief requested:
WHEREFORE, Plaintiffs respectfully request that the Court ignore the vicious media attacks against Plaintiffs’ lawsuit and injunctive relief requested, grant their Motion, enter either the attached Alternative Order, the Amended Temporary Restraining, or fashion a reasonable remedy somewhere in the middle to prevent the immediate and irreparable harm Plaintiffs will suffer and grant Plaintiffs all other and further relief to which they may be justly entitled.
And then I find out ATL has a freaking podcast!
Um … what?
PS: Proof positive that lawyers are not without humor. Or is it humour? 🙂
And speaking of which, should the headline writer of this article read this one? 🙂
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