Tying My Shoelaces
This is some bad poetry I wrote and published online in April 2010. Based on a true story. 🙂
Waking up to another day
Gearing up to accomplish something
Taking a shower
Fumbling with the soap
Trying to button my pants
Pullover shirts are easiest
Now the real challenge
Tying my shoelaces
Who would’ve thought it?
Who would’ve thought that
Tying one’s shoelaces
Could be such a challenge?
But it’s a challenge I face daily
Due to dystonia
Dystonia is a rare movement disorder
A complicated problem
Because it affects each of its victims differently
In my case, it affects my left hand and foot
Each of which is constantly, constantly clenching
When I say constantly clenching
I mean all the time, non-stop
24/7, day-after-day, minute-by-minute
Second-by-second
Relentlessly and without respite
Consistently and steadfastly
Not letting up for even a single moment
Well, you get the idea
Each day when I put on my shoes
I tie the laces with great difficulty
Whether it’s due to dystonia itself
Or the treatment of Botox shots to deaden the nerves, which
Tends to cause weakness and paralysis in my hand
A bad side effect
Which is to say the only known (effective) treatment is one
That’s hit or miss, at best
Oh, wait, did I mention there’s no cure for this
And the prognosis regarding losing this condition
Is bleak
And, yeah, that sucks
But no one said that life would be fair.
No one said that life would be easy.
So when I tie my shoelaces
I do so with great care and deliberation
And with all the dexterity and intensity
Of a four-year-old, who’s still learning how
Not that I haven’t adapted to the problem
I’ve got my technique almost perfected
(You should see me at airports.
You want to complain about taking your shoes off?
Watch me struggle with my shoelaces,
Then tell me what an inconvenience it is for you)
And typing … well, you can just imagine.
I’m typing this with one finger on my left hand
(Seriously. One finger. The rest are curling in uncontrollably.)
Good thing my right hand still works. For now, anyway.
Thing is I’ve noticed some tingling and numbness in my right hand
Oh, no! Not carpal tunnel syndrome.
(Jeez, nightmare scenario!)
Thing is, even though it’s hard these days
To tie my shoelaces
The benefit of this is to make me tougher
And more patient
Because when it comes to fiction writing
And getting published
You must be both tough and patient
To make it through the process
So, each day I get up
Gear up to accomplish something
Take my shower
Keep fumbling with the soap
Put on my clothes
By any means possible
Sit down at the computer
And write with one hand and one finger
Sometimes, if the treatments allow
I might even get to use two or three fingers on my left hand.
If I’m lucky, that is …
Because I know I must be tough
I must be patient
I must persist
I simply must keep going
If I’m going to write and publish my work
And I have to apply
All the concentration and effort
I put into tying my shoelaces.
*****
Originally published at http://randomandsundrythings.wordpress.com on November 5, 2021.
