‘The Car’ (B-Movie Review) — Part One
Time for some more twisted fun with weird and interesting movies!
For the next few weeks, I have a campy road rage classic from the 70s! It’s none other than The Car!
The 1970s were a very frightening time in so many ways. The music sucked, the fashion sucked, the gas crisis sucked, but many of the movies were great. Unfortunately, this is not one of them.
So we start with a young man and woman on bicycles. It’s really early in the morning (as we find out later), and they’re rolling along when this Black Car appears from nowhere.
The Car follows them, revving its engine spasmodically. Then it terrorizes them by failing to keep the proper distance from each of them. Clearly, The Car is jealous of the bicycles — so slim, so … not reliant on gas. Eventually, The Car runs them off the road. Bikes go flying and bodies sail off the road into a deep canyon or off a bridge into a deep canyon, depending on which bicycle you’re talking about.
Then we see Cute Girl (whose name doesn’t matter, because … well, it just doesn’t) whispering sweet nothings in James Brolin’s ear. He’s asleep and she wakes him up in the cutest way. And even though she claims his breath stinks, they continue to engage in conversation so cute, I nearly went into diabetic shock.
But then we meet a 70s-looking, fro-wearing white boy/Hippie with a Horn (which would make a great bad movie title — perhaps with Kirk Douglas’s offspring). Hippy Guy tootles his horn at an ungodly early hour of the day right in the street. And a local wife-beating asshole resident tells him to get lost after Hippie Dude gives him shit for hassling the wife.
And what should appear but … The Car! That maniac car tears down the road right for him. And the Hippie Guy is a complete moron, of course. He just pastes a big grin on his face, sticks out his thumb, and practices pickup lines-because for some odd reason, he’s convinced a female is driving this car like a bat out of hell. (Presumably because he’s so damn sexy!)
When Hippie Guy has a close call with the vehicle, he yells at it and gives it the finger. That (believe it or not) was his Big Mistake.
Be sure to come back for the next exciting part of this review! 🙂
PS: Here’s a spoiler-filled trailer for you! 🙂
Originally published at http://debbimacktoo.wordpress.com on February 15, 2020.
