Ode to a Dead Kindle

Debbi Mack
3 min readApr 30, 2019

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This is a parody set to the tune of the Sex Pistols song, “EMI”!

Hit the video and sing along! 🙂

Kindle Unlimited supply
And there is no reason why
We were indie authors, trying our luck
But we are entitled to make a buck!

Amazon, Amazon, Amazon!

Too many authors have books
Too many readers buy them cheap
An unlimited amount
Too many free books out, many of them crap (sing this part fast!)

Amazon, Amazon, Amazon!

We authors have been digitized
A blessing and a curse we now realize
Easy free downloads have led to addiction
But are we ruled by only one publisher? No! Never! Never! Never!

And you thought that we were faking
That we were all just money making
You do not believe indie authors are for real
Or we could lose our cheap appeal?

Don’t judge a book just by its cover
Or let an algorithm pick another
And blind acceptance is a sign
Of stupid fools who buy only from you …

Amazon, Amazon, Amazon!
(Ha, ha, ha …)

Kindle Unlimited editions
With an unlimited supply
That gives us all good reasons
For just saying goodbye

Kindle Unlimited supply
And there is no reason why
We were indie authors, trying our luck
But we are entitled to make a buck!

I do not need the pressure
Of trying to write a gazillion books a year
Kindle Unlimited supply
Hallo Amazon. GOOD-BYE! ASIN! *Raspberry*

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Ah ha ha! Ever get the feeling you’ve been cheated? 🙂

PS: My thanks to John Lydon, the Sex Pistols, and “Weird Al” Yankovic! And the parody portion of the fair use doctrine in the U.S. Copyright Act.

PPS: My Kindle really did die this past weekend. Well, I can’t connect to Amazon, I should say. But I can buy from Smashwords and these guys (I guess). Ha!

PPPS: Besides, I own one of these! 🙂

A Kobo! :)

PPPPS: Fuck you, Alexa! (My apologizes to any real person reading this who happens to have the name Alexa. You know I’m not talking to you!)

PPPPPS: Ok-ay. This is really the last one! 🙂

This entry was posted in Amazon, Music, Parody, Satire and tagged Amazon, Music, Parody, Satire, Writing. Bookmark the permalink.

Originally published at http://randomandsundrythings.wordpress.com on April 30, 2019.

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Debbi Mack
Debbi Mack

Written by Debbi Mack

New York Times bestselling author of eight novels, including the Sam McRae Mystery series. Screenwriter, podcaster, and blogger. My website: www.debbimack.com.

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