Just Call Her Marlo: The Little Sisters — Part Two

Debbi Mack
4 min readMar 6, 2020

Continuing from last week’s post, here’s Part Two of Just Call Her Marlo: The Little Sisters! A mash-up/parody nonpareil.

EXT. — STREET — DAY

Marlo drives her roadster past a sign that reads: “Welcome to the Village of New Britain”.

MARLO (V.O.)
My client said time was of the essence. She claimed Lear the Father wasn’t a well man.

The car speeds by a long line of upscale residences.

MARLO (V.O.)
Rather than engage Lear’s daughters in a drawn-out, cat-and-mouse game to ferret out their true intentions, I figured I’d just talk to them.

The roadster negotiates a turn.

MARLO (V.O.)
But I also hoped to speak to Big Daddy Lear himself. This required I make a house call.

INT./EXT. MARLO’S CAR — DAY

Marlo turns into a long arc of driveway leading to a mansion.

MARLO (V.O.)
Lear preferred to meet people on his home turf, according to Cordelia. And Kent. That was his butler. Or his secretary. Whatever.

EXT. LEAR MANSION — DAY

The roadster stops before a massive, rococo building.

A uniformed VALET, male, early 20s, approaches the roadster. Marlo looks at him.

VALET
Valet, ma’am?

MARLO
No. Thank you.

Valet pulls out a gun. Points it at Marlo.

VALET
Are you sure?

This draws a tiny smile from Marlo.

MARLO
Yeah, I’m sure.

A silent beat passes. The Valet stands like a statue, pointing the gun.

MARLO
So … you gonna shoot me or what?

VALET
Uh …

Valet quickly stows the gun inside his jacket.

Marlo dips her head forward.

MARLO
I’ll leave the car there. Be inside if you change your mind about …

Marlo makes her hand pistol-shaped and points it at her head.

MARLO
Yeah.

Marlo drives past the Valet, who quietly seethes.

INT. LEAR MANSION, FOYER — DAY

Marlo and KENT NOBLEMAN enter a massive foyer with a dominating stairway.

KENT
Colonel Lear will be with you shortly.

Kent wanders off. Marlo inspects a portrait on the wall.

GONERIL, short, early-20s, and baby-faced, enters. She gnaws for thumbnail and gazes at Marlo, who turns toward Goneril.

MARLO
And who might you be?

Goneril smiles, bats her eyelashes.

GONERIL
Does it matter?

MARLO
(sardonic)
I don’t mean to pry.

Goneril giggles. She moves to Marlo’s side and half-collapses across her shoulder. Marlo shrugs her off.

GONERIL
You’re cute.

Marlo turns away from her.

MARLO
(sotto voce)
And you’re nuts.

Marlo ignores Goneril, who watches Marlo, fascinated.

GONERIL
You’re not very tall, are you?

Marlo shakes her head in obvious disbelief.

Kent enters.

KENT
The Colonel will see you now.

Marlo gives Kent a mock salute.

MARLO
Ay, captain.

Kent appears confused. Marlo waves it aside.

MARLO
Skip it.

INT. LEAR MANSION, SOLARIUM — DAY

A glass-enclosed sun room. COLONEL LEAR, mid-80s, rail thin and gaunt, sits in a wheelchair amid a riot of potted geraniums stacked on shelves.

Marlo stands in the doorway. Within seconds, she pulls out a tissue and mops sweat from her brow.

COLONEL LEAR
Ms. Wiley, I presume.

MARLO
Please … call me Marlo.

COLONEL LEAR
Do come in. Have a seat.

Marlo moves inside, looks about. Spies a wicker chair and drops into it. She fans her face with her hand.

MARLO
Do you always enjoy meeting guests in the sauna?

COLONEL LEAR
I do apologize for the heat. But you’re looking at the desiccated remains of a man who has lived an enormously full and sordid life on the edge.

MARLO
I need to ask you a few questions, sir.

COLONEL LEAR
Do you like geraniums, Ms. Marlo?

MARLO
Not especially.

COLONEL LEAR
Me neither. Their petals are like the softness of congealed milk. And they smell about the same.

MARLO
Sir, it’s come to my attention that you basically disowned one of your daughters.

COLONEL LEAR
Do you have any children, Ms. Marlo?

Marlo pulls a “WTF” look.

MARLO
Hey, who’s asking the questions here? I don’t. And would you please just call me Marlo?

Colonel Lear perks up.

COLONEL LEAR
Good for you! Kids suck.

Colonel Lear fishes a note from within his robe and hands it to Marlo.

COLONEL LEAR
Take a look at this. It came by messenger this morning.

Marlo reads the note. It’s a PROMISSORY NOTE in the amount of $1,000,000 signed by Goneril Lear.

Marlo tut-tuts.

MARLO
You’re right. Kids do suck.

*****

PS: Have you guessed which book/movie this parodies?

Here’s a hint! 🙂

Originally published at http://randomandsundrythings.wordpress.com on March 6, 2020.

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Debbi Mack

New York Times bestselling author of eight novels, including the Sam McRae Mystery series. Screenwriter, podcaster, and blogger. My website: www.debbimack.com.