Another Song Parody

Okay, so I ran across yet another parody I wrote about KDP publishing and … well, social media and technology in general. Here’s the first one I did.

Now, here’s this one, set to the tune of “Maggie’s Farm.”

I ain’t gonna put my work on KDP Select no more
No I ain’t gonna put my work on KDP Select no more
Well, I’d wake up at crack o’dawn-thirty, go straight to the keyboard and type
I had so many promos and so much social media to learn it was driving me insane
Yet the algorithms hated me anyway.
Oh I ain’t gonna put my work on KDP Select no more

Oh I ain’t gonna run Amazon ads no more
No I ain’t gonna run Amazon ads no more
Well, old Jeff, he makes you an offer you think you can’t refuse,
You agree to be exclusive to his platform, or die screaming
Because he’ll bury your book under the results paid for by others
Oh I ain’t gonna run Amazon ads no more

Oh I ain’t running Facebook ads no more
No I ain’t running Facebook ads no more
Well old Zuckie, he rolls cigars with dollar bills just for kicks
His bedroom window it is made out of solid-gold bricks
The National Guard and the FBI stand around his door
Oh I ain’t postin’ shit on Facebook no more

I ain’t gonna be a TikToker no more
No I ain’t gonna pay for yet another damn course on how to use social media
Well the tech billionaires and their acolytes
May want to addict or be addicted
But the TikTokers will eventually turn sixty-eight even if they pretend to be twenty-four
Oh I ain’t gonna take expensive courses on yet another platform that may or not be around in two years or minutes.
Oh I ain’t gonna be a TikToker no more.

I ain’t gonna put my work on KDP Select no more
No I ain’t gonna put my work on KDP Select no more
Well, I’d wake up at crack o’dawn-thirty, go straight to the keyboard and type
I had so many promos and so much social media to learn it was driving me insane
They say “Sing while you slave” but I just got bored
And I ain’t gonna put my work on KDP Select no more.
Period. ETC. End of thinking capacity.